Phew (Niners), Peyew (Officials)

Where's the camera? Over there?

That was a great win last night - no doubt about it. But I was disappointed that the Niners blew so many opportunities to run away from the Patriots earlier in the game. If San Francisco's offense (and David Akers) could have taken advantage of the gifts the defense was giving them in the first half, there's a good chance Bill Belichick would have put Tom Brady on the bench before he would have had the opportunity to direct the 28-point comeback that tied the game midway through the fourth quarter.

Still, it was awesome to see Tom Brady's growing frustrations as the Niners extended their lead to 31-3. But Tom, seriously - enough with the whining. You're becoming as bad as all of your petulant fans who witnessed your first December loss at home in ten seasons. Boston fans, we know you all think the world is against you and you are the biggest underdogs of all time. But in reality, you are a spoiled fanbase that never believes your teams lose fair and square. You will always play second fiddle to New York.

And if we've learned anything about last night's game, it's that Ed Hochuli's crew should never, ever, EVER - under ANY circumstances, be allowed to officiate any NFL game of consequence. The mismanagement of the first-half punt return fumble/illegal touching penalty and subsequent replay challenge is just the latest example of how these bozos are woefully unprepared for working a nationally-televised game.

Here's a new rule of thumb for the league. If you are assigning Hochuli to an NFL game that isn't being announced by Sam Rosen or Chris Myers, you are running the risk of having the worst officiating crew in the league affect possible playoff positioning and outcomes.

Now, it's on the Seattle for the second week of the 49ers' Sunday Night Football residency. You're welcome America.

A Win is a Win, I Guess...

That was not a Super Bowl-contending team on the field at Candlestick today. Going into the fourth quarter, the only thing separating the 49ers from the mediocre (at best) Dolphins was a fumbled punt return.

The offense is missing a key ingredient since Colin Kapernick took over: consistency. Yes, there are some flashes of brilliance with big plays like the 50-yard scamper into the endzone to put the game (finally) out of reach today. But there are still too many instances where the offense sputters for several drives in a row, allowing inferior opponents to remain in (or even win) the game.

And before anybody starts talking about the awesome throw CK made to Randy Moss that should have resulted in a touchdown (nice to see Mike Carrey's crew still stinks and misses obvious pass interference penalties), keep in mind that it's STILL an excuse.

Everybody WANTS Kaepernick to succeed. I do, too. Whatever gets the 49ers their sixth ring is totally fine with me. But giving this inconsistent offense the benefit of the doubt by making excuses doesn't fly in December, and it sure is hell won't help matters in January. Win now. Get your sh*t together. Because as far as I can tell, things were running much more smoothly with #11 behind center.

For whatever reason, the coaching staff still doesn't know what to do with this new offense. Too many "cute" plays. Too many ineffective running calls in long-yardage situations. For the second week in a row, too many conservative plays when they should be aggressive, and being too aggressive (like passing twice before going three-and-out when trying to burn the clock late in the fourth quarter after Miami pulled to within seven points) when they should have been conservative.

I'm not championing Alex Smith, but I do know if he put up the same numbers over the past four weeks that Kaepernick has, everybody would still be calling him nothing more than a game manager. "Would Alex Smith be able to run for that last touchdown today?" No (although the Saints might have a different opinion). But the team wouldn't be burning most of their timeouts in each half because the ball wasn't getting snapped before the gameclock expired, either.

Through week Week 10, there was a rhythm. A process. Certain expectations. That's gone, now. Blame Kapernick, blame the coaches, blame the players' biorhythms, blame the goddamned seagulls flying around Candlestick Park. I don't care. Things have to get better - and soon - if the 49ers want to meet their goal of playing in the Super Bowl.

The defense, while generally very, very good, continues to make too many penalties while giving up long drives during crucial points in the game. A championship defense should NEVER allow an ineffective offense like Miami's to march 80 yards midway through the fourth quarter to make it a one-score game. That's when the defense should have killed the Dolphins' hopes with a three-and-out or a turnover.

About midway through today's contest, if you didn't know the 49ers were currently holding the second seed in the NFC, you'd think you were watching a couple of 3-9 teams struggle to finish their seasons. It was ugly, and reminiscent of all of those pathetic games we watched during the Erickson, Nolan and Singletary eras, right down to the wasted timeouts and mental/communication errors.

So, is it all Doom and Gloom? No. But with a Sunday-night matchup in New England and a crucial divisional game against the surging Seahawks looming ahead over the next couple of weeks, there is no margin for error. The 49ers need to start playing like the champions they want to be.

Now.

49ers - Rams: 10 Quarters and No Wins for SF

That was a terrible performance across the board in St. Louis a few minutes ago...

Colin Kaepernick single-handedly gave the Rams 10 of their points. Each time the game was his to control, he failed. And Jim Harbaugh was woefully outcoached for the second time this season against Jeff Fisher.

Aside from taking that awful grounding penalty that gave the Rams their first points of the day, the Niners screwed themselves on four key plays down the stretch. Satisfactorily completing any one of them would have saved the day and given San Francisco an ugly road win against a divisional opponent:

• Leading by eight late in the fourth quarter against an offense that hadn't scored ALL DAY, the Niners inexplicably tried a fancy flip-lateral to Ted Ginn deep in their own territory. Kaepernick's toss was totally off the mark, the Rams pounced on the ball into the end zone, and a two-point conversion tied a game that the Rams had no business being in.
• On the following drive, facing third-down inside the two minute warning (and following the rare "dropped TD and holding call on consecutive plays" by Delaney Walker to cause the sputtering offense to drive backwards after getting into the red zone), Kapernick rolled to his right to gain a few yards, then stepped out of bounds to save a final timeout for the Rams so they could drive down the field and tie the game on a 51-yard field goal. 
• On the Rams' tying drive, Dashon Goldson performed his customary "personal foul at a crucial moment" maneuver to give the Rams 15 much-needed yards.
• David Akers, remembering how much he enjoyed shanking a game-winner field goal in the previous tie with the Rams, delivered an encore performance by missing another game-winner from (a very makeable indoor distance of) 51 yards.

Naturally, the Rams took possession of the ball following the Akers miss and drove into 49er territory just deep enough before time expired to nail (another) long field goal to win the contest.

Game. Set. Match.

"Who's got it better than us?" Why don't you just tell us who still has the "hot hand" instead, Harbaugh.

Fortunately, the race for the NFC's second seed is still in San Francisco's hands. But if the Niners find themselves playing in the wildcard round during the weekend of December 5 instead of enjoying a first-round bye, they can thank their ineptitude against the Rams (twice) for their lack of rest.